3 Things To Do When You Are FURIOUS

August 8, 2018


Number One

Remove yourself from the situation. Let the people around you know that you are upset and need some time to calm down. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being angry and we have every right to it. It's what you do with that anger that counts.


Go for a walk, take your dog if you have one. Immerse yourself in nature...the river is my favourite spot...it's power tends to humble me and remind me that I am just a little tiny insect on this big beautiful planet and that whatever I am upset about is not as BIG as I think, even though it feels like that somehow. 


Walking induces feel good hormones from your brain...just what you need at a time like this...any form of exercise brings out the chemicals in your brain called endorphins and also releases a natural pain killer...also something we can use at a time like this....


Yoga is also an excellent form of anger management...bringing your awareness to your breath and the focus that it takes to get into those postures clears your mind...deep breathing also relaxes the muscles that tense up when we are angry..your neck and shoulders, your jaw and your forehead.


Whatever form you choose...walking, yoga or a bike ride...it gets you AWAY from the trigger so that you can think clearly again....



Number Two

Call a friend. If you don't have a friend that is available then call a help line. Talking it out helps to sort through your feelings and gets you out of your own head. Lots of times, talking it out helps you to see that you are either justified in your anger, and so you can make a plan or helps you to see that you might be over-reacting because of OTHER issues.


Reaching out to someone helps you to not feel so isolated or alone, it validates your connection to other humans and makes you feel...well...loved! 


Our anger is usually coming from a place of being hurt...the extent of our anger is usually directly proportional to how much we are hurt. "Hurt" could be disappointed, or feeling helpless, or blaming ourselves or even shame...take the time to figure out WHY you are so angry. Don't blame, just accept and feel your feelings...so tough, yes, I know. Remember that anger usually has NOTHING to do with the person who pissed you off and everything to do with HOW YOU ARE FEELING...



Number Three

Pick up a book...not just any book....a book from Melody Beattie "the language of letting go"....or a book from a local al-anon group...there are many..although al-anon deals with friends and relatives of alcoholics/addicts, those books are just loaded with common sense information or life hacks on how to deal with stuff....


Learning to let go is the secret to releasing anger....also the hardest thing to do...especially when it comes to someone you love..you can also get online and google "letting go of anger" and just scroll through the images...this has calmed me down many times because I just need to be reminded that #1. I am not crazy #2. It is a basic human right to feel angry #3. I am not alone.



If you still don't feel calm after following these three steps then consider getting some counselling...there you will have a chance to really talk it out in a safe place with someone who can guide you to figuring out the three steps of what you just read...


Think about how awesome this world would be if everyone actually knew how to deal with their anger in a healthy and productive way???










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