The Secret to a Successful Relationship

July 13, 2018

 

 

Know what it is?

 

Forgiveness

 

Something I am not so good at...well actually...maybe I am good at it....

 

FRIENDS

You're out at a pub..say 4 or 5 of your besties...things are going great...everyone is laughing, having fun, the appies have been long gone...round 4 is on the way...we are waiting for the band...there's going to be some dancing happening..awesome

 

But your one friend has had a little too much...she starts to get that rolling eyes look...she says "what the fuck are you looking at? all stupid like that?"

 

I don't even answer her...my heart is pounding...I'm like "REALLY"?

 

I sigh audibly and just look the other way...she seems to realize that she just said something incredibly stupid...thats right...suck on that straw...get some more alcohol into ya!! Just what we all need....

 

Forgiveness, according to Google...who knows EVERYTHING...is the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven...soooo helpful right??? 

 

So what is it? really..... the ability to see past people's mistakes and into their true nature...you're hanging out because there's something you like about her right? (maybe just hard to remember at that moment?) LOL

 

And 1/2 hour later we are dancing on the floor and having a blast...that's forgiveness....forget about it...she's got lots going on...she is good!

 

And maybe take a good long swallow of humility, meaning that the world does not revolve around you and don't take things so personally!!

 

HUSBAND/WIFE/PARTNER

Your partner has pissed you off more times than you can count or remember, right? What is it that allows one couple to move forward, and keep smiling and the other to head to Splitsville?

 

Again, that thing called forgiveness. what is it? the ability to take what your partner says, understand why he/she said that, chew on it awhile and say.."ok, I can see why you would say that, I can see why that would hurt your feelings and I'm sorry, I'll try not to let it happen again, if I do that again just gently remind me that it hurts..it's not my intention to hurt you...." RIGHT?

 

It's different, after chewing on it awhile, you come to the conclusion that that person IS TRYING to hurt you, embarrass you, humiliate you, degrade you, shame you, use you, and on and on...you get the point. If you are in a situation like that? Thats abuse honey. You don't deserve that. Head for Splitsville cuz you are better than that, and trust me, in Splitsville, nobody can hurt you anymore (except you).

 

What about if you have chewed on it, listened to it, tried to understand, forgiven and He/She still keeps doing it? They don't mean to. They are not trying to hurt you. It's just the way they are. Then comes ACCEPTANCE. Just accept and don't take it personally. Live your life and move past it.

 

There is this big thing called, oh I dunno...how do you say it? CONTROL FREAK? lol

 

If you are a control freak and you are driving your partner, children, grandchildren, co-workers and ppl in general NUTS, go to Al-Anon, or get some counselling, or drink a bottle of wine, do whatever you have to do to LET THEM GO. You will learn to stop your control freak shit and start getting along with the people who love you. If you are in a relationship with a control freak, well kudos to you for your unlimited patience, but aren't you tired? 

 

I was kinda married once, for about 3 years, been in a few serious relationships and been on countless dates. That 'marriage' was when I was 18, and totally messed up. I have never been married again. Do I have "daddy issues"? most certainly, but I am aware of my issues and honest about them. I have learned self love, self respect and boundaries over the past oh, I dunno 30 years? lol 

 

I've come to the point in my life, where if I ever get married again, it will be to somebody that I deem worthy of me...he will deserve me because I am awesome. I don't need anyone, but it is nice to have a partnership or someone you can count on or somebody you can trust and talk to. Trust. That's another blog. haha

 

Stay tuned...

 

 

 

 

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